Overcoming the obstacle

We all face barriers in life. They are inevitable and perhaps a reminder that we are human. They teach us that we are not perfect and that we have to work in harmony with a whole range of factors and facets. Whether the barrier is something that stops you relied on several factors.

The limits

So do you push on through the ceiling and keep heading for the heady heights of what ever lies beyond that barrier or do you just say, this is enough for me. I have trodden this route long enough and any longer is likely to cause harm.

That's not just a choice that you have to take. In fact, having the choice to push on through is a privilege that many of us can ill afford or simply just do not have. That works both ways though. Either no choice to stop or no choice but to continue. Lets assume for a second, although a fairly unrealistic situation, that we have an equal ability to continue or to cease when we hit blockers. What influences what happens next?

Factors That Influence Whether We Overcome Barriers

1. Internal Factors (What’s happening within us)

Beliefs and mindset

• Whether we see the barrier as fixed or changeable

• Our sense of agency (“I can influence this”) versus helplessness

• The stories we tell ourselves about what’s possible

Emotional regulation

• Ability to stay grounded when stressed

• Capacity to tolerate discomfort, uncertainty, or slow progress

• Whether emotions become data or drivers

Motivation and values

• Alignment with what matters to us

• Clarity of purpose

• Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation

Skills and knowledge

• Do we have the tools to navigate the barrier?

• Do we know how to break the problem down?

• Are we able to ask for help or learn something new?

2. Social and Relational Factors

Support networks

• Encouragement, accountability, or practical help from others

• Psychological safety in our environment

Role models and norms

• Seeing others overcome similar barriers

• Cultural expectations about persistence, risk, or failure

Quality of feedback

• Whether we receive constructive, timely, actionable feedback

• Whether feedback builds agency or erodes it

3. Environmental and Structural Factors

Resources

• Time, energy, money, access to tools

• Workload and competing demands

Systems and structures

• Policies, processes, or organisational culture that either enable or block progress

• Power dynamics and gatekeeping

Opportunity landscape

• Whether the environment offers pathways forward

• Whether barriers are personal, interpersonal, or systemic

The Nature of the Barrier Itself

Complexity

• Is it a simple obstacle or a multi‑layered challenge?

Timescale

• Short-term friction vs long-term structural constraint

Controllability

• What’s within our influence, and what isn’t?

Ambiguity

• Clear barriers are easier to tackle than fuzzy, shifting ones

5.Behavioural Patterns and Habits

Coping strategies

• Do we avoid, procrastinate, or overwork?

• Do we break things down or get overwhelmed?

Consistency

• Small, repeated actions vs sporadic bursts of effort

Reflection and adaptation

• Ability to learn from attempts rather than repeat the same approach

The reality of how these interact

It is rare that barrier are overcome (or not) by a single factor. How they interact however will influence this. If you have a strong sense of agency this can compensate for a limitation in resource available to assist you. If you have a good support mechanism and an environment which can buffer the strain this can also prove to mitigate these circumstances. Importantly, certainly from an external point of view, having a clear stream of feedback can transform complex barriers into solvable ones. Finally, misaligned values can make even small barriers feel insurmountable. To enable effective barrier manoeuvrability, psychological safety, agency and reflective practice can be powerful as they can shift the landscape rapidly.

Three Tips for People Working on Their Own Barriers

1. Name the barrier clearly

Most barriers feel bigger because they’re vague. Turn “I’m overwhelmed” into something specific like “I don’t know where to start with X.” Clarity shrinks the problem and reveals the first step.

2. Break the barrier into a tiny, doable action

Momentum beats motivation. Choose the smallest possible action. Small wins restore agency.

3. Regulate before you problem‑solve

When you’re stressed, your brain narrows options. Take 60 seconds to breathe, walk, or reset. A regulated nervous system makes barriers feel navigable rather than personal.

Three Tips for Helping Others Overcome Barriers

1. Start with curiosity, not solutions

Ask: “What feels hardest about this right now?” People open up when they feel seen, not fixed. Curiosity creates psychological safety.

2. Reflect their strengths back to them

Barriers shrink when someone reminds us what we’re capable of. Say things like: “I’ve seen you handle tougher things than this.” Strength‑spotting restores confidence and agency.

3. Co‑create the next step, don’t prescribe it

Instead of “You should…”, try “What’s one step that feels doable for you?” This keeps ownership with them. This is crucial for sustainable change

If this resonates, follow me on instagram for more @martinlewiscoach. Read my articles on substack https://substack.com/@martinlewis761344?utm_source=user-menu.

Please also check out Martin Lewis on Linkedin. Try messaging to discuss this further and we can grow this approach in a package.